Two steps forward one step back…

Such is life, I try to clean my house one room at a time, I usually never make it more than two rooms….Thats because I have a little person following behind me un-doing all my hard work…..

I manage to sort out a pile of dry washing, I fold it neatly into three piles. One pile of my clothes, husbands, and Keziah’s…Oh no! Two piles have been thrown across the room before I even finish putting one away!

I being to tidy the box of toys, when I hear a bang and crash, my follower, Keziah has pulled out a different draw and chucked all the toys out over the floor.

I really need to get these clothes dry, I hastily  hang the washing up on the drying rack as you pull a row of socks off the radiator……aahhhhh!

Solution found, I put you in your cot so I can try and complete just one task and maybe clean my house, one room at a time!? You scream so loud I think the neighbours will come and nock! I pull you out and try distraction technique! A cuddly toy and a fantastic picture book, even a sweet tasting biscuit!

Five minutes to run round, make the beds, gather the washing, re-hand the washing before….your bouncing on the bed, undoing the tidiness again. You look so cute with your cheeky smile, I might as well join in the bouncing!

Who needs a tidy house anyway, whats wrong with a bit of mess?

smiling-cute-baby

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Unconditional Love, a love letter….

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Unconditional love, a love so deep, so vast words can’t begin to describe the feelings, the depth of emotion and force of its power. Its great need and yearning to love you and be with you….unconditional, no matter what you may do to me in the future to hurt me I will always love you. When you lie, cheat or steal, the pain you cause can never be so great to separate me from you, or cause that love to break. You may not always show me love, you may cry and shout, pull my hair and ignore me yet I will always love you with an everlasting love. Im so jealous for your time, you affections, to know you more each day. I want to know how your mind works, see you thrive and develop, to see what makes you feel alive. I love to see you laugh and smile, playing in the grass under the sun. You are so pure and so precious, your trust and dependance on me so simple. I want to walk with you as you grow and experience the world, to understand your wants and hurts…let me be there for you every step of the way. There will be times when your heart aches and mine will too. Let me be the one you turn to and lean your head on to cry. Know that you are always beautiful to me, be confident in your beauty and your identity. I want to show you and teach you to be strong and confident…..you can achieve all your hopes and dreams. I will always believe in you.

Let me into your secrets and let me know your desires, I want to see every one of them come true. I want you to be so happy and so loved, as much as I love you. I want the best future for you, that you would be safe and secure, cherished and adored. Your skin so soft and so delicate, I don’t ever want to see you bruised or hurt. Let me protect you and keep you warm, in my arms I hold you tight was a baby, I don’t ever wan to let you go. I know that you will grow up and walk your own path and life.

Yet with unconditional love I will let your wings spread and let you fly and soar…away from me. You will always be in my heart even if your the other side of the world, close by me you will feel. I can’t imagine us apart as we spend so much time together now. I look forward to you waking in the morning, all day we play, bouncing and laughing as we hug and sing. You have no idea how big the world is, waiting for you, waiting as you grow bigger and ready to explore and experience it. Although I would always keep you close by my side forever I know one day you will grow in a lady and one day even share your love with another. Then your eyes will be for another, not me. I love you with an unconditional love that binds me to you, no matter where you are or what you do I will always hold you in my heart and in my mind memories will be replying over and constantly, remembering all the precious moments and memories we have shared as you have grown up.

You are and we always be the apple of my eye, you bring me so much joy and pleasure, no one else has captivated me such as your eyes your smile your laugh. I will always love you, my first chid, my daughter, who one day will grow up to be a beautiful women held and adored by another. Then to have her own beautiful children and family who in turn I will love with all my heart. My first child I couldn’t love you any more…..nothing could make me love you more, no achievements, fame or fortune to come. Just as you are, you have my heart and my unconditional all encompassing love and affection. Your mother.

Romans 8v35, Isaiah 43v1-4

Can you ever be ready or fully prepared for how your life changes when your baby arrives?

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Keziah and me!

Although my husband and I were ready to start a family I don’t think I was fully ready or prepared for what mother hood brought! During my 9 months while I waited and watched my stomach grow bigger, my skin stretch and my feet swell I knew I was in for a big change! I was given so much advice from stocking my house full as I wouldn’t leave for weeks or months after the baby was born to sleep routines and feeding advice. I felt so confused by the end of it all I didn’t know which was the right method to try.
Pop! I had a great birth plan in mind, a lovely calm water birth at home with hubby and my favourite midwife. The opposite occurred as I was rushed in an ambulance into the labour ward, hot and sweaty I pushed and Keziah came shooting in to the world and turned it up side down! It wasn’t as planned but I was going to learn not much does go to plan!
We had many adventures in the early days especially learning to deal with our little pooing, sicking, crying bundle of joy. I had always been super organised, always on time, with a tidyish home and a full social life…this all changed. I learnt that looking half decent and only being 10 minute late for my one appointment of the day was an achievement! Often I would have a plan and this would be altered, ruined or completely abandoned depending on Keziah’s antics.
There were quiet moments when I would read a book to Keziah, often I found these very lovely dovey, over simplistic or just plain boring-Bob is hot, Bob is cold, The cat sat on the mat… This is when I had a light bulb moment to write my own series of books aimed at mums to read to their babies which they could relate to and enjoy. There were many times when I thought to myself, am I the only mum being covered in sick and having her day ruined? I wanted to write something that mums could think, Oh yeah, I’ve been there, done that and managed to come through laughing. I wanted to show that us mums can simply love our baby no matter what has just happened in the day. To encourage mums it’s ok to feel annoyed, frustrated, embarrassed and a whole host of emotions as we go through the day and night! It’s normal to feel these emotions; as long as we have that deep unconditional love that always forgives and forgets and loves our baby to the very core…even after having our best top stained or another sleepless night.
I hope you enjoy my series and that you find the books funny and can relate to similar times you have had with your baby! In turn as your baby grows, and grows with Keziah I hope they learn to laugh and understand that deep love from you their mum that is always there for them no matter what mischief they may have been up to.
So this is is my blog to bat ideas about my developing book series- Keziah and Blossom- with you and to keep you guys updated with its progress so that when I finally have it published you may like to read them! I would love to have this blog interactive with your thoughts and ideas so please feel free to leave your comments. Thanks! Anna