‘There is no such thing as super mum’….phew I was so glad to hear that! I was at a conference for mums last night ran by Care For The Family called Mum’s The Word! My husband, Dan joked before I left saying I bet they will say things like, your all beautiful amazing mums, your un sung heroes….well actually they did and it felt good! I think all mums works so hard and often don’t get any recognition or thanks. The room was packed with women of all different ages and backgrounds. Just being together and sharing that one common identity of being a mum made the event feel very special. There were first time parents, parents of five or more and even grandmas, all enjoyed the down to earth fun loving talks given by Cathy Madavan and Diane Louise Jordan.
The evening started with their stories of parenthood, struggling with messy moody children and feeling stressed and guilty as they compared them selvese to others mums who seemingly had everything under control! Often when you go behind the scenes its not really so perfect and under control! Ive met so many mums who compare their child and themselves to others, my babies not crawling yet, my baby has no teeth yet, yours sleeps through the night and wow look at you, you’ve lost all your baby weight-I haven’t! The list goes on and on, Ive been there and done that! It was good to hear that it is so common to do just that, but also good to be reminded that we must not as each of us is unique and different in special ways. Children all develop and learn in different ways and the most import thing we can give to a child is love! It sounds so cheesy but its so true and so important! They could not stress enough how learning to best love our children is the most rewarding thing we can do for them. A book called The 5 Love Languages for children (there is also one for adults) was talked about. They describe each of us with having a love tank which like a car when running low needs to be topped up. Each person feels love in a different way, each love language was discussed-Physical touch- like hugs, Words of affirmation-encouraging the child when they do well, Quality time-spending un-interupted time with your child , Grifts-giving something that time and thought has gone into such as a special song or photo album, finally Acts of service-once in a while tidying their room as a special treat. Its important as parents we learn how are children feel most loved and show them in their specific ways to keep their love tanks full. Its a great read so worth buying a copy to understand in a greater depth each love language identified.
I lost count how many times I said No then ended up shouting No at my daughter yesterday! So often when our children keep mis behaving we feel at wits end and start to loose control our selves. Last night they spoke about reacting V responding! It was very interesting to see the clear difference between shouting at the child (reacting) or stopping to ask them why they were acting in this way. Dian gave the example of how she asked her grand son to wait outside a shop with her dog as there was no where for him to be tied. He responded by saying ‘no way’ with attidude, she stopped her self from getting angry and simply asked why. He said he was scared that he would be taken if left alone outside the shop. Often there is a reason behind a behaviour, the reason for the little boys attitude was fear. If we stop a while to ask why and go deeper then some behaviour can be resolved. There were so many fantastic ideas and tips given, but the ones i have written about were the ones which stood out for me!
I leave you with, There is no recipe for the perfect child…they are all different and special in their own way! #MTW2015